Oh No It Isn't, Oh Yes It Is!

If your British upbringing was anything like mine, this familiar expression is filled with childhood memories, yelling it at the funny dressed characters in the theatre at Christmas time. Pantomimes and fairy tale stories can convey much about our societies past and present psychology.

What makes the line ‘oh no it isn’t, oh yes it is’ so appealing? How has it lasted the decades of pantomimes in our country? My theory is that it taps into a familiar feeling in ourselves. How many times have you argued with yourself? Something like, ‘I want a new car, we can’t afford it, yes but ours is falling apart, you’re silly for even thinking about it’ etcetera etcetera! Many of us have conversions with ourselves like this many times a day. Clients often report they feel like they are at battle with themselves in their head.

Holding opposite opinions of the same subject is very common for humans. This is because our emotional brain has locked in fearful experiences. It thinks it’s doing a good job here, to keep us safe and away from the thing that made us upset. However, it doesn’t have intelligence, it can’t differentiate that the current situation you are in is very different from the original one that caused you hurt and pain.

That’s why you may really desire to have a new partner but if you’ve been hurt in the past fearful thoughts like, they might hurt you, can you trust them will likely pop into your head and stop you from finding someone.

The villains in pantomimes are also very good at portraying the fearful side of us, the darker shadow that many fear. They are characters who are led completely by their fears and emotional brain. Another reason why I think the stories have tested the length of time is because we can identify with the nasty, cruel ways they portray because many of us feel them inside but know it’s not good to act on them.

So how do we be like Cinderella and Snow White and find our happily ever after? That my darlings (said in my best lurvee voice), is all down to conscious awareness again (something i've mentioned in previous posts).

Have you watched the Disney film Maleficent? I’d highly recommend it if you haven’t. It portrays how the villain Maleficent turns ‘evil’ due to a traumatic incident. The ‘baddies’ are always not nice for a reason. Some people may find it easier to be aggressive, manipulative etc but they are never born this way with a pre-determined ‘bad’ personality. Those traits will have developed as a survival mechanism. Just the same as a nice all the time ‘goody two shoes’ personality will have developed out of not feeling 100% sure they will be loved if display negative emotions like anger and frustration.

The way to find balance is to really know yourself and what ‘triggers’ you into fearful thoughts where those ‘oh no it isn’t, oh yes it is’ type thoughts come in. What is your emotional brain trying to protect you from?

If you’d like help working it out and unravelling the thoughts and feelings, then do get in touch. I feel so humbled to be able to have the skills for people to understand themselves better so they naturally start living a life that feels good to them.

Much love


#Trauma #Anxiety #Counselling #Fear #psychology #counselling

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