Fear can be sneaky!
Life is going along quite nicely; it may not be exactly what you want but on the whole things are good. And then, BOOM! You are struck by anxiety.
Something in your body doesn’t feel right. You start to worry about everything!
You may try to push it to one side, ‘it’s fine I’m doing okay’. But it won’t go fully away and before you know it you feel very anxious and unsure what to do.
That anxiety feeling is nearly always driven by fear. Gabby Bernstein in her book ‘the universe has your back’ (yes I’m partial to a bit of woo woo but a lot of what she says is in line with neuro-psychology research) describes how we all have movies playing in our head that we project onto the world. For example, I used to believe I was as thick as two short planks. I constantly told myself I was stupid. The movie playing in my mind told a story of a thick girl who didn’t know how to handle situations, especially academic ones and needed rescuing. I used to try and convince myself it was fine, I could cope with this and life was okay but my movie was powered by the fear that being thick was something to be ashamed of and eventually I wouldn’t be able to cope (which happened many times in my past). All this happened unconsciously.
When I went back to university to train to be a counsellor we had a talk on dyslexia from student support. Something inside of me urged me to make to an appointment to discuss my learning needs. After an assessment I was diagnosed with dyslexia. My assessor was a kind, empathetic lady who busted many beliefs I’d developed from School and in that moment something shifted and my movie changed. I was no longer a thick girl struggling to write coherent English, I was an intelligent woman with a different learning style.
In my style of therapy, I aim to help unlock those unconscious movies and hidden fears so clients can assess whether they want them to continue playing or change the projector.
I also believe that anxiety, which is driven by fear, feels so awful because as a society we are taught not t to listen to it and to think something is dreadfully wrong. However, anxiety is a human feeling for a reason. It’s there to alert us something isn’t quite right in our environment and we need to adjust course.
The trouble with modern society is, millions are invested in distracting us from anxiety and uncomfortable emotions. We are bombarded with messages that if we have the latest gadget or certain lifestyle we will be happy. The only thing that will calm anxiety is facing the fear that drives it and changing that movie projection. Easier said than done I know.
I feel privileged that I have the tools and the ability to hold the space for clients for them to face their fears and change those movie titles.
If you’d like help unlocking those unconscious beliefs so fear is not so sneaky then I’d love to have a chat with you and see if my style of therapy is suitable for you.